HI Natalie! First thing I noticed when I went to your portfolio home page was that you don't have a link to this comment page on it. I think adding a link on your home page will make it easier for people in our class to find your comment page. I think you have done a really great job with your story. I really like how you included dialogue within the story. Dialogue is a great way to break up the story a little bit and understand the characters more. Have you thought about including more pictures in your story? Adding more pictures will help a lot with the overall affect of the story. If readers can visualize what is happening then they can connect more with the story. Good luck on the rest of your stories! I look forward to reading more!
Hi Natalie! Great job! I really liked your story. You did a great job of capturing the reader's attention. I also like how your banner picture corresponds to your story. What if you described what the kingdom was like before the greedy king took over? I feel like this would allow the readers to connect more with the sons and the people at the end. If the king was so dedicated to praying to the gods for sons, I wonder why he would not just go out and do as they told him in order to have six more sons? Was it just the greed and maybe a little laziness coming out in the king? Your ending was also really good. The king truly did get what he deserved. I also like how you made a connection at the end of the story. In the beginning, you mentioned that the people wondered how the king could have a prayer answered with the way he acted and in the end of the story you made the connection that it was basically karma. Great story and I look forward to reading more.
Natalie, I just read your story, Karma Got the King on your portfolio website! I really enjoyed it and found myself wondering where the story would go, especially when the sons agreed to go out on the mission. I also like that you chose to include an image of the village because it helped to draw the reader into the story. One thing that I think would be useful for your project would be to include an intro or description to your stories on the home page. That way the readers will know what to expect and will be further enticed to read your work. I also think it would be cool to hear more from the sons. What are their names and what are they like? All in all I really enjoyed your story and look forward to reading more of your work over the course of the semester.
I like that you changed the story to have a somewhat happy ending - in that 60,000 innocents didn't end up dead. Many of these stories have grim endings, especially the ones that teach about karma. I love that you were able to talk about karma without that signature grim ending.
One thing I believe the story would benefit from is some elaboration on setting/detail. The fun way to edit is to add sensory details. They don't have to be crazy detailed, just basic. For example, commenting on the smell of the rubble of the city, the clearing of the dust and the position of the sun in the sky when the sons realize their wicked father is gone. Things like that can really make a story come alive, and I think it'd be cool to see you experiment with that kind of writing.Overall, I think the story is interesting, and the "wicked king" perspective is always fun to read about. Great job!
Hi Natalie great first story! I really like how you kept to the theme of the original story, but instead of all of the sons dying, the King died instead. It was also entertaining to see all of the sons turn out to be noble men instead of a horrible man like the king was. One thing I would recommend is setting up the story a little more. It would be cool to see what made the sons so noble. Such as the sons donating some of their wealth, or the sons helping the needy of the village. Adding some of those additional details would add more depth to the story and make it even more entertaining to read. Great job on your first story, I look forward to reading more.
Hi Natalie! I loved the beginning of your portfolio. It was a very interesting choice of story to retell. I know having multiple wives is a common thing for ancient kings and stories about those times and such, but every time I read it, I still get a little mad. Especially when the husband is such an arrogant man and King. I was happy that you had a happy ending for the sons, though, because I am personally a sucker for a happy ending and for characters I dislike to get justice. Also, Karma is such a major theme in Indian Epics, it is cool that you brought it into your retelling. Also, that the kingdom did not suffer for the king’s misdeeds because I feel like often that happens in stories where the wrong people get punished along with the action bad guy. Anyway, I cannot wait to read more since this was such a great start!
First of all, your home screen is gorgeous! I really love that picture!
I enjoyed your story of the greedy king, it seems like he got what he had coming! I liked that the sons turned out to be noble and 60,000 innocent sons didn't end up dead due to their father's selfishness. One minor thing I noticed is that throughout the story, sometimes you capitalized gods and other times you didn't, so maybe just go through and make those all agree with one another!
I wonder if you could go into more detail on how the greedy king had impacted the village? The villagers were so happy when the sons said they were going to restore the village to how it was prior to their father's ruling, but we don't get much info on what exactly he did to the town. We know he's greedy, but did this come in the form of high taxes, starving his kingdom, etc.?
Hello Natalie! This is such a great story that you have written! I also really enjoy writing about kingdoms, palaces, and royale families. They are so fun and the writing flows so easily! I really like this story about Karma because it teaches a lesson. This story reinforces the lesson that it is not right to make deals and go back on your word, or even to be greedy as the king was in the first place. I think that you did a very good job showing how the king was behaving was not right behavior and you really set the story up well to reinforce the moral of the story. I would really like to read more about how the six sons rule the kingdom. I think it would even be cool for you to maybe write that one of the sons follows in his father’s path and falls to Karma as well.
Hey there Natalie. First thing I wanted to say is that I really like the picture you used for the banner on your portfolio. As far as the story goes, I like how you told it. The adjustment you made to the original story was well thought out and your story was very interesting to read. If you wanted to make the story more fulfilling, maybe adding a bit of background to the king would help the reader better understand why he deserved what was coming to him. If you wanted to, you could even add a little more at the end of the story about all his sons and how they continue the kingdom they inherited, especially keeping in mind what just happened to their father. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading your story, keep up the good work and I look forward to getting to read more of your work!
Your site is very easy to navigate, and the picture you chose is great for the first story.
Karma feels very... old-testament to me. The greedy king, the bargain with the gods, and the palace crumbling all contribute to this. Your choice to retell King Sagara as a greedy villain made for an interesting story.
I would like to know a little more about him, and maybe the dynamic between the villagers and the sons. Did the sons view their father as greedy and evil? Were they aware they were helping him break his bargain with the gods?
And, I'm curious to know what type of mission he was told to perform. How long did the gods expect him to go, and did he tell his sons this? Maybe the king and his sons could have some dialogue to give the reader a better idea of how each felt.
This was especially fun for me to read, because I too did a story on this portion of the Ramayana. I love seeing the differences in what people choose to write about with the same subject material, and your story is SO much more cheerful than mine came out. Great job!
Hey there, Natalie! I think that you have a good thing going here for your storybook. The layout of the website looks great, and I did not have any trouble navigating the page. The overall color scheme also looks good. The background image is appealing and simple as well. I think your decision to make the king and his actions more exaggerated was definitely an interesting one. I remember reading the source and the king was very greedy and unsatisfied. I think that your decision to stick to this made the story more appealing and it gave the story a protagonist. It was interesting to see the hatred that the people of the kingdom had for the king. He was a very greedy and selfish man. He refused to go through the trials asked of him, and he paid the ultimate price. I think it would be cool to follow up with this story and write about what the sons do in his place. They seem to be very different people from their father.
Hi Natalie! I really like the look and feel of your website and the background image is really cool and fits the website. It really brings it together. As for your story, I liked how you broke it up into several small paragraphs. I think it makes it easier to read because when I read stories with large paragraphs, I become disinterested and it seems more like a chore to read, rather than fun, so I like that you did that with your writing. I loved reading about the king. It's so fun seeing what people decide to write about and how everyone has such different writing styles. Keep up the good work Natalie!
Hi Natalie! I really enjoyed looking through your blog and seeing how bright and cheerful it is. You've done an incredible job at keeping it nice and neat, but still allowing your own creativity to shine through. I really think you have a talent for being able to shape the characters in your story well and how you know how to tie events together throughout the story and really capture the readers' attention. Thank you for sharing with us and I hope to read more of your work in the future!
Hi Natalie, I really like the cover picture on your website. That is a gorgeous sunset. The title's of your stories drew me in, and made me want to read them. The way you have organized your paragraphs was easy to read, but I feel like the flow of your story would benefit from paragraphs of differing sizes. Allowing some parts of your story to feel as if they develop more slowly than others would add another level of interest in my opinion.
Hi Natalie! I really appreciated your first story. It tells a great tale of a greedy king who gets what he deserves. I think you make it clear towards the end of the story, but it seems that rather than the King's wishes being granted, it was like the villagers' desire for a responsible king were being fulfilled. Maybe that is a stretch, but these sons that were given to the King ended up caring more about the village and doing more than the King ever did to bring prosperity to it. On your second story, I like how you bring it into our real world. You include students from this university, and turn it into a learning moment for them. It also seems like you took that time to explain the origins of the Indian Epics class. Clever! Here, your author's note came in handy too. I wasn't sure what this story could even be based on, but the note eased that confusion. Great job!
Hi again Natalie! I really enjoyed reading through your portfolio again! This time I was able to read your second story and reread your first story. I love how your second story is so interactive with the reader. For example, the way that you tell your readers to refer to the images. The images really play and important role in your story and I think you have done a fantastic job incorporating them! I really like how you also brought your story into the lives of OU students. I haven't read a story yet that does that! After I reread your first story I thought about how you did such a good job with capturing the reader's attention. Your overall website looks fantastic and I think that you have done a really good job on everything so far. I am looking forward to checking back in on your portfolio website once you have added more stories!
Hi Natalie! I love the banner photo you’ve chosen for your site! I really enjoyed your first story. You did a nice job with imagery and the third person perspective was a nice way to show the feelings of multiple characters. The only thing that seemed odd to me was that the sons were happy that their father had died. I think it would’ve been more realistic if the men were sad but also excited about what they would be able to do for the future of the village. The temple and overall experience you describe in your second story sounds incredible and I wish I could do this exact thing. I think it would’ve been really interesting if you had given some examples of the clarifications the local gave about certain pieces of art and characteristics of deities. Overall, everything is coming along really nicely and I’m excited to see what else you come up with!
Hi again! I have previously left feedback on your first story back in February. This time, I came back to read your second story, "Your Eyes vs. My Eyes". From the first sentence of this story, I was drawn in. I love how you related the story back to college and traveling abroad. Everyone in this class can relate to being a college student, and maybe for some people they can relate to traveling abroad which would draw them in even more to your story. Your story was very creative in the rewriting aspect. I really like how you put it in a relatable setting of learning about unknown things. Most people can relate back to a state of learning at one point in their lives. I like how the story had a lesson and left the group of students more educated. I feel like this story could even be inspiring and be perceived that asking questions and learning can pay off. Overall great job and I look forward to seeing the final project.
I really enjoyed your website and stories! I liked the banner image on your home page. I see that you reused the banner image for the two story pages that you have in your portfolio. I think it may make the stories feel a little more unique if each of the stories had a banner image that is related to the story itself in some way. Anyway, I read the Karma story you wrote and liked it a lot! I also like the changes you made to the original story. Sixty thousand sons seems like a bit overkill and unbelievable. Six is much more believable. I thought the pace of the story was pretty good too. I noticed in a lot of the stories we’ve read in class (especially the Jakatas) that the pacing of stories was way too fast for my tastes. I thought you did a really good job!
I really like your portfolio so far. The first story about the king's sons was excellent. You made great changes while keeping the integrity of the original story. I think your story may benefit from a little bit more information about why the gods chose to grant the king's wish for sons. Maybe the gods wanted to set up the good people of the village to have a good king after the bad one died, or maybe it was part of an evil scheme. I think the basic story is good, but adding a little more depth would make your story perfect. The second story was great too. I love the “study abroad” theme of your story. You highlighted a really important aspect of understanding culture. I thought it was so beautiful that you wanted to promote cross cultural understanding. Especially with so much globalization and information exchange, it is so important to understand each other. Great work making a great portfolio.
Hi, Natalie! Your portfolio is looking great so far! I do not know if you finished class early or not, I would assume so since there are only 2 stories, but I hope you add another. I really liked that you had OU students in “Your Eyes Versus My Eyes,” it helped draw me into the story and make me feel like a part of it. I have not watched any videos for my readings and so watching this one to better understand your story was super interesting. Also, I wrote a story on this topic as “Karma” too because I found the idea of the King sacrificing his sons so terrible. I liked how you pulled the story about of the Ramayana and made it more accessible to read on its own instead of needing a lot of background to understand the context. They were great reads! Thanks for sharing your stories.
Hey, Natalie, I really enjoyed reading the 2 stories you have in your portfolio. I especially enjoyed your story inspired but the Seven Secrets from Hindu Calendar Art by Devdutt Pattanaik. I've been watching some of the videos by Devdutt Pattanail as well and they are all so well put together and super interesting. I especially like the sections about Gaia. I thought the way you wrote "Your Eyes vs My Eyes" was super creative and made it easy for readers to connect to since we are all OU students. Your writing is great and I really only have a couple of suggestions about how you could make your portfolio stronger. One would be to change the banner photo and make it different for each story. The other suggestion would be to consider adding dialogue to your stories (although there is some in "Karma"). Your stories are interesting and well-written but I just think some dialogue between characters would give your stories another dimension. Anyway, well done!
HI Natalie! First thing I noticed when I went to your portfolio home page was that you don't have a link to this comment page on it. I think adding a link on your home page will make it easier for people in our class to find your comment page. I think you have done a really great job with your story. I really like how you included dialogue within the story. Dialogue is a great way to break up the story a little bit and understand the characters more. Have you thought about including more pictures in your story? Adding more pictures will help a lot with the overall affect of the story. If readers can visualize what is happening then they can connect more with the story. Good luck on the rest of your stories! I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie! Great job! I really liked your story. You did a great job of capturing the reader's attention. I also like how your banner picture corresponds to your story. What if you described what the kingdom was like before the greedy king took over? I feel like this would allow the readers to connect more with the sons and the people at the end. If the king was so dedicated to praying to the gods for sons, I wonder why he would not just go out and do as they told him in order to have six more sons? Was it just the greed and maybe a little laziness coming out in the king? Your ending was also really good. The king truly did get what he deserved. I also like how you made a connection at the end of the story. In the beginning, you mentioned that the people wondered how the king could have a prayer answered with the way he acted and in the end of the story you made the connection that it was basically karma. Great story and I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteNatalie, I just read your story, Karma Got the King on your portfolio website! I really enjoyed it and found myself wondering where the story would go, especially when the sons agreed to go out on the mission. I also like that you chose to include an image of the village because it helped to draw the reader into the story. One thing that I think would be useful for your project would be to include an intro or description to your stories on the home page. That way the readers will know what to expect and will be further enticed to read your work. I also think it would be cool to hear more from the sons. What are their names and what are they like? All in all I really enjoyed your story and look forward to reading more of your work over the course of the semester.
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie!
ReplyDeleteI like that you changed the story to have a somewhat happy ending - in that 60,000 innocents didn't end up dead. Many of these stories have grim endings, especially the ones that teach about karma. I love that you were able to talk about karma without that signature grim ending.
One thing I believe the story would benefit from is some elaboration on setting/detail. The fun way to edit is to add sensory details. They don't have to be crazy detailed, just basic. For example, commenting on the smell of the rubble of the city, the clearing of the dust and the position of the sun in the sky when the sons realize their wicked father is gone. Things like that can really make a story come alive, and I think it'd be cool to see you experiment with that kind of writing.Overall, I think the story is interesting, and the "wicked king" perspective is always fun to read about. Great job!
Hi Natalie great first story! I really like how you kept to the theme of the original story, but instead of all of the sons dying, the King died instead. It was also entertaining to see all of the sons turn out to be noble men instead of a horrible man like the king was. One thing I would recommend is setting up the story a little more. It would be cool to see what made the sons so noble. Such as the sons donating some of their wealth, or the sons helping the needy of the village. Adding some of those additional details would add more depth to the story and make it even more entertaining to read. Great job on your first story, I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie!
ReplyDeleteI loved the beginning of your portfolio. It was a very interesting choice of story to retell. I know having multiple wives is a common thing for ancient kings and stories about those times and such, but every time I read it, I still get a little mad. Especially when the husband is such an arrogant man and King. I was happy that you had a happy ending for the sons, though, because I am personally a sucker for a happy ending and for characters I dislike to get justice. Also, Karma is such a major theme in Indian Epics, it is cool that you brought it into your retelling. Also, that the kingdom did not suffer for the king’s misdeeds because I feel like often that happens in stories where the wrong people get punished along with the action bad guy. Anyway, I cannot wait to read more since this was such a great start!
Hey Natalie!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, your home screen is gorgeous! I really love that picture!
I enjoyed your story of the greedy king, it seems like he got what he had coming! I liked that the sons turned out to be noble and 60,000 innocent sons didn't end up dead due to their father's selfishness. One minor thing I noticed is that throughout the story, sometimes you capitalized gods and other times you didn't, so maybe just go through and make those all agree with one another!
I wonder if you could go into more detail on how the greedy king had impacted the village? The villagers were so happy when the sons said they were going to restore the village to how it was prior to their father's ruling, but we don't get much info on what exactly he did to the town. We know he's greedy, but did this come in the form of high taxes, starving his kingdom, etc.?
You're off to a really great start!
Hello Natalie! This is such a great story that you have written! I also really enjoy writing about kingdoms, palaces, and royale families. They are so fun and the writing flows so easily! I really like this story about Karma because it teaches a lesson. This story reinforces the lesson that it is not right to make deals and go back on your word, or even to be greedy as the king was in the first place. I think that you did a very good job showing how the king was behaving was not right behavior and you really set the story up well to reinforce the moral of the story. I would really like to read more about how the six sons rule the kingdom. I think it would even be cool for you to maybe write that one of the sons follows in his father’s path and falls to Karma as well.
ReplyDeleteHey there Natalie. First thing I wanted to say is that I really like the picture you used for the banner on your portfolio. As far as the story goes, I like how you told it. The adjustment you made to the original story was well thought out and your story was very interesting to read. If you wanted to make the story more fulfilling, maybe adding a bit of background to the king would help the reader better understand why he deserved what was coming to him. If you wanted to, you could even add a little more at the end of the story about all his sons and how they continue the kingdom they inherited, especially keeping in mind what just happened to their father. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading your story, keep up the good work and I look forward to getting to read more of your work!
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie!
ReplyDeleteYour site is very easy to navigate, and the picture you chose is great for the first story.
Karma feels very... old-testament to me. The greedy king, the bargain with the gods, and the palace crumbling all contribute to this. Your choice to retell King Sagara as a greedy villain made for an interesting story.
I would like to know a little more about him, and maybe the dynamic between the villagers and the sons. Did the sons view their father as greedy and evil? Were they aware they were helping him break his bargain with the gods?
And, I'm curious to know what type of mission he was told to perform. How long did the gods expect him to go, and did he tell his sons this? Maybe the king and his sons could have some dialogue to give the reader a better idea of how each felt.
This was especially fun for me to read, because I too did a story on this portion of the Ramayana. I love seeing the differences in what people choose to write about with the same subject material, and your story is SO much more cheerful than mine came out. Great job!
Hey there, Natalie! I think that you have a good thing going here for your storybook. The layout of the website looks great, and I did not have any trouble navigating the page. The overall color scheme also looks good. The background image is appealing and simple as well. I think your decision to make the king and his actions more exaggerated was definitely an interesting one. I remember reading the source and the king was very greedy and unsatisfied. I think that your decision to stick to this made the story more appealing and it gave the story a protagonist. It was interesting to see the hatred that the people of the kingdom had for the king. He was a very greedy and selfish man. He refused to go through the trials asked of him, and he paid the ultimate price. I think it would be cool to follow up with this story and write about what the sons do in his place. They seem to be very different people from their father.
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie! I really like the look and feel of your website and the background image is really cool and fits the website. It really brings it together. As for your story, I liked how you broke it up into several small paragraphs. I think it makes it easier to read because when I read stories with large paragraphs, I become disinterested and it seems more like a chore to read, rather than fun, so I like that you did that with your writing. I loved reading about the king. It's so fun seeing what people decide to write about and how everyone has such different writing styles. Keep up the good work Natalie!
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie! I really enjoyed looking through your blog and seeing how bright and cheerful it is. You've done an incredible job at keeping it nice and neat, but still allowing your own creativity to shine through. I really think you have a talent for being able to shape the characters in your story well and how you know how to tie events together throughout the story and really capture the readers' attention. Thank you for sharing with us and I hope to read more of your work in the future!
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie, I really like the cover picture on your website. That is a gorgeous sunset. The title's of your stories drew me in, and made me want to read them. The way you have organized your paragraphs was easy to read, but I feel like the flow of your story would benefit from paragraphs of differing sizes. Allowing some parts of your story to feel as if they develop more slowly than others would add another level of interest in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie!
ReplyDeleteI really appreciated your first story. It tells a great tale of a greedy king who gets what he deserves. I think you make it clear towards the end of the story, but it seems that rather than the King's wishes being granted, it was like the villagers' desire for a responsible king were being fulfilled. Maybe that is a stretch, but these sons that were given to the King ended up caring more about the village and doing more than the King ever did to bring prosperity to it.
On your second story, I like how you bring it into our real world. You include students from this university, and turn it into a learning moment for them. It also seems like you took that time to explain the origins of the Indian Epics class. Clever! Here, your author's note came in handy too. I wasn't sure what this story could even be based on, but the note eased that confusion. Great job!
Hi again Natalie! I really enjoyed reading through your portfolio again! This time I was able to read your second story and reread your first story. I love how your second story is so interactive with the reader. For example, the way that you tell your readers to refer to the images. The images really play and important role in your story and I think you have done a fantastic job incorporating them! I really like how you also brought your story into the lives of OU students. I haven't read a story yet that does that! After I reread your first story I thought about how you did such a good job with capturing the reader's attention. Your overall website looks fantastic and I think that you have done a really good job on everything so far. I am looking forward to checking back in on your portfolio website once you have added more stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie! I love the banner photo you’ve chosen for your site! I really enjoyed your first story. You did a nice job with imagery and the third person perspective was a nice way to show the feelings of multiple characters. The only thing that seemed odd to me was that the sons were happy that their father had died. I think it would’ve been more realistic if the men were sad but also excited about what they would be able to do for the future of the village. The temple and overall experience you describe in your second story sounds incredible and I wish I could do this exact thing. I think it would’ve been really interesting if you had given some examples of the clarifications the local gave about certain pieces of art and characteristics of deities. Overall, everything is coming along really nicely and I’m excited to see what else you come up with!
ReplyDeleteHi again! I have previously left feedback on your first story back in February. This time, I came back to read your second story, "Your Eyes vs. My Eyes". From the first sentence of this story, I was drawn in. I love how you related the story back to college and traveling abroad. Everyone in this class can relate to being a college student, and maybe for some people they can relate to traveling abroad which would draw them in even more to your story. Your story was very creative in the rewriting aspect. I really like how you put it in a relatable setting of learning about unknown things. Most people can relate back to a state of learning at one point in their lives. I like how the story had a lesson and left the group of students more educated. I feel like this story could even be inspiring and be perceived that asking questions and learning can pay off. Overall great job and I look forward to seeing the final project.
ReplyDeleteHey Natalie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your website and stories! I liked the banner image on your home page. I see that you reused the banner image for the two story pages that you have in your portfolio. I think it may make the stories feel a little more unique if each of the stories had a banner image that is related to the story itself in some way. Anyway, I read the Karma story you wrote and liked it a lot! I also like the changes you made to the original story. Sixty thousand sons seems like a bit overkill and unbelievable. Six is much more believable. I thought the pace of the story was pretty good too. I noticed in a lot of the stories we’ve read in class (especially the Jakatas) that the pacing of stories was way too fast for my tastes. I thought you did a really good job!
Hey Natalie!
ReplyDeleteI really like your portfolio so far. The first story about the king's sons was excellent. You made great changes while keeping the integrity of the original story. I think your story may benefit from a little bit more information about why the gods chose to grant the king's wish for sons. Maybe the gods wanted to set up the good people of the village to have a good king after the bad one died, or maybe it was part of an evil scheme. I think the basic story is good, but adding a little more depth would make your story perfect. The second story was great too. I love the “study abroad” theme of your story. You highlighted a really important aspect of understanding culture. I thought it was so beautiful that you wanted to promote cross cultural understanding. Especially with so much globalization and information exchange, it is so important to understand each other. Great work making a great portfolio.
Hi, Natalie!
ReplyDeleteYour portfolio is looking great so far! I do not know if you finished class early or not, I would assume so since there are only 2 stories, but I hope you add another. I really liked that you had OU students in “Your Eyes Versus My Eyes,” it helped draw me into the story and make me feel like a part of it. I have not watched any videos for my readings and so watching this one to better understand your story was super interesting. Also, I wrote a story on this topic as “Karma” too because I found the idea of the King sacrificing his sons so terrible. I liked how you pulled the story about of the Ramayana and made it more accessible to read on its own instead of needing a lot of background to understand the context. They were great reads! Thanks for sharing your stories.
Hey, Natalie, I really enjoyed reading the 2 stories you have in your portfolio. I especially enjoyed your story inspired but the Seven Secrets from Hindu Calendar Art by Devdutt Pattanaik. I've been watching some of the videos by Devdutt Pattanail as well and they are all so well put together and super interesting. I especially like the sections about Gaia. I thought the way you wrote "Your Eyes vs My Eyes" was super creative and made it easy for readers to connect to since we are all OU students. Your writing is great and I really only have a couple of suggestions about how you could make your portfolio stronger. One would be to change the banner photo and make it different for each story. The other suggestion would be to consider adding dialogue to your stories (although there is some in "Karma"). Your stories are interesting and well-written but I just think some dialogue between characters would give your stories another dimension. Anyway, well done!
ReplyDelete